


Put Your Hands on Me, Baby

by ladyofreylo



Series: Sackler [5]
Category: Girls (TV), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo - Freeform, Developing Relationship, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Happily Ever After, Happy Ending, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Light Angst, Love Story, Not Canon Compliant, Oral Sex, POV First Person, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2021-02-24 18:07:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22022194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyofreylo/pseuds/ladyofreylo
Summary: In this crossover AU story, Adam Sackler (from Girls-TV show) meets Rey Jakku (Star Wars) in an acting class.  He's shunned by other students for his odd demeanor.  Rey befriends him as others mock his crazy energy and loud voice.  She enjoys his wild side very much.  Very much.  Eventually, Adam is forced out of school by the haters.  He and Rey lose touch until much, much later when careers are made and love can flourish.  Or not.  Come and see.No spoilers for SW or Girls.  Check out all my drool over Adam Sackler's big man hands.  What the heck came over me?
Relationships: Rey (Star Wars)/Adam Sackler, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Sackler [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741783
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	Put Your Hands on Me, Baby

He walked in all jittery and tall. He looked around our class. Of course, I have this imaginary sign on my forehead that attracts weirdos. Anyone who is a little different sees me first and comes for me next. This strange guy made immediate eye contact with me. Of course. Then he sat in a too-small chair next to me.

“Hey,” he said, looking at me through the fringe of his long hair. He ran a huge hand through the waves and pushed them back off his forehead.

“Hey,” I said back. 

His hands were like a puppy’s paws—almost too big for his body. But then again… He kicked his very long legs in front of him. He looked like he wanted to get up again.

“Adam,” he said.

“Hmmm?” I replied.

“I’m Adam,” he said to me. “Uhhh, Sackler. Adam Sackler.” He nodded his head like he didn’t know his own name—or just remembered it somehow.

“Rey,” I said. I decided he didn’t need to know my last name. I didn’t know this guy from…well, Adam. Bad joke. I smiled to myself.

“Oh, hi, hi.” He grinned back at me. I guess he thought I was looking at him. I wasn’t. Well, I was, but wasn’t at the same time. Was I?

“You new here?” he asked me.

“Yeah, we all are.” It was weird that he didn’t know it.

“Right, right, right,” he said. “I knew that.” He shook his head again. “Don’t know why I said that.” He shot me an embarrassed look.

It was the first day of class at the Actor Academy for all of us. We were in the first class of the first year of our time there. Most of us were fresh out of undergraduate school, ready for our Master of Fine Arts degrees. 

The instructor walked into the space. It was called The Black Box, and it was literally a big room painted all flat matte black. There were risers with seats lined up the back for an audience and a stage space up front. Doors led to storage, a loading dock, and the hallway. That was it. We sat in folding chairs on the stage space in a semi-circle.

“Who wants to be an actor?” our instructor asked, loudly.

Many of us raised our hands, some more vigorously than others. I have to confess, I raised mine more slowly than the others.

“Yes, ma’am,” Adam Sackler said more loudly than absolutely necessary. He actually stood up. He was so tall and intense.

Our instructor looked him up and down. “There we go. That’s what I want to see. Full on commitment.” She pulled out a piece of paper and began to read it.

Adam continued to stand, waiting.

“I’m Gabby,” she said. She looked up from her paper and caught sight of Adam. “Please sit.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said crisply and parked his butt back on the chair.

Looks were exchanged among students. One girl caught my eye and rolled hers. “Suck-up,” she mouthed. I looked to see if Adam saw her, but he was laser focused on Gabby.

Gabby was speaking again. “Let’s start with the Mirror exercise as a warm-up. Who here has done that one?”

A few of us said yes. Adam caught my eye. He shook his head. He didn’t know the Mirror exercise.

“You will need a partner,” Gabby said.

Adam touched my arm. “Be my partner,” he whispered loudly.

Heads turned our direction.

“What?” he said to the room. “She can’t be my partner?”

“No, that’s fine,” Gabby said. She looked at me hesitantly. 

I shrugged and nodded. Why not? Somebody had to do it.

The mirror exercise involved partners facing each other and without talking, create movement patterns together. Partners mirror each other's movements. The ideal version involves maintaining eye contact and using only peripheral vision to understand the movements.

Gabby explained the rules. We all sat on the floor face to face, palm to palm. Adam folded up his long legs as much as possible, but I had to push my own legs right up against his to even have a chance of reaching. His arms were long, but mine were not.

“Your hands are tiny,” he said, folding my hands into his large palms. “Look at them.”

I had never considered my hands small until this man showed me his huge paws. Huge. Paws.

“Palm to palm,” Gabby corrected softly as she walked by.

“Yes, ma’am,” barked Adam. He looked at me expectantly. “Let’s do it.”

I wondered whether I should tell him he sounded like...a soldier in basic training. The image of Adam standing at attention floated into my mind. That didn’t seem likely. Nothing else about him seemed military.

We gazed at each other as we were directed. He looked like a strange beast that had wandered in. He wasn't going to be standard leading man material. He would probably play sidekicks and best friends. Maybe weirdos and unusual characters or the guy next door who had secrets hidden in the basement. 

His brown eyes were so serious. I could almost see him concentrating. He was looking inside or somewhere, rather than at me. Around us, some pairs burst into laughter. Stevo, the fast-talking wise guy everyone looked up to, hooted loudly to his girlfriend, Jennifer. She giggled appreciatively. Gabby drew them back to the purpose. We were connecting with partners. Reading body language. Adam’s eyes met mine. He looked determined and focused.

I watched Adam's expressions as we moved our hands in sync. He was not classically handsome. His face was a bit too long, chin too pointed, his lips soft and wide, but finely shaped. His nose was a shade too big and long but it fit his face. His entire aspect was long and lean, arms, legs, face. His hair was thick, wavy, and dark. He had a spattering of beauty marks on his face here and there. I wondered idly what he would do if I touched each one with my fingertip.

I wasn't concentrating as hard on the mirror activity as I should have been. I was watching the wild man in front of me. He tapped my finger briefly. I looked up into his eyes. He raised his brows slightly. I felt a blush rising. I had been staring at him. 

He wasn't my type, but I found him fascinating, nonetheless. 

Stevo and some of the other students smoking on the outdoor loading dock at break time called Adam an insect. A hick. They were clearly used to being the best actors in a room. They were the jaded, hip dudes dragging on clove cigs. They dripped boredom and ambled onto the stage space like they owned it. And proceeded to be shown up by a shouting, energetic madman.

By the end of the class, Adam stuck out as the oddball. I was totally nonplussed by his shouting and intense commitment to everything he did. Every exercise he performed full on as if he was onstage. What the hell was this guy doing?

Gabby loved it. By the end of the first week of class, she was singing Adam Sackler’s praises.

“Commitment,” Gabby said, stalking around the stage with a raised fist. “That's what we are looking for. It's not just about showing up. There are no exercises or games. It's all real. It's all theatre. Commit.”

Adam punctuated Gabby's speech with a loud yeah. 

Eyes were rolled in most everyone's head. 

“Shut up,” Stevo whispered to Jennifer. Others snickered.

I couldn’t deal with their shit. “Hey,” I whispered to Stevo, “why don’t you shut up, asshole?”

He flipped me off.

I saw Adam's face. He thought I was laughing at him, too. He shot me a hurt look and loped off after class. I wanted to run after him and say that I wasn't with these vipers. But I didn't.

Adam was officially labeled weirdo of the class after that. The girls skirted him with barely polite “excuse me’s.” The dudes continued to talk not-so-quietly behind his back.

I know Adam heard them. I could tell by how he held his body furiously tight every day when he shot out of the classroom. He took every insult and hit from these people and sucked it into himself. I didn’t know how much more he could take of their goading.

After class one day, I was done with all of them. “Why don’t you leave him be?” I said to Stevo, who was as usual leading the pack of Adam-destroyers.

Jordan jumped in. He was a leading man type with bright blue eyes and a sexy half-smile. “Hey, now, Rey. What are you defending this fella for? He’s a praying mantis. He has no game with the ladies. Or anyone really.” He, Stevo, Jennifer, and a couple of others collapsed in laughter. “Where the fuck did he get those daddy long legs? And what is he doing here?”

“Fuck you, Jordan,” I said. “How can you say that about a person? Adam’s got a great career ahead of him. Especially if he doesn’t listen to the likes of you guys. Not everyone is a leading man. Other roles are just as important.” I stopped. I was parroting Gabby. No one really believed that line at the Academy. You had to be lead or nothing.

Stevo said, “Well, you’ve taken on Adam Sacker, award-winning actor, as a pet project. Why don’t you go fuck him as well.”

“Eww,” said Jennifer. “Just ick.”

I glared at Stevo. “Adam is probably better in bed than you are.”

“Rey’s in the sack with Sackler,” Jordan shouted. They all laughed and high-fived.

“Shut the hell up,” I said. “You guys are infants.”

Stevo said loudly, “Aw, fuck you. Can’t take a joke. And fuck Sackler, too. Makes us all look bad.”

Adam kept to himself, ignoring absolutely everyone, including me. He sat alone on the loading dock during our breaks reading plays from a scruffy old book and eating peanut butter sandwiches in three giant bites. He carried a gallon jug of water that he gulped like a wolf. When he dashed out of class at the end of each day, I saw him running out of the main building with a backpack on his shoulders, heading off down the city street. I had no idea where he lived or what he did after classes. I began to think of his mood as “the shutdown.” Adam ignored everyone for days at time, only speaking to Gabby or me when absolutely necessary.

Gabby was big on group-building activities in class. Adam participated fully in all the exercises. He stood out in every group event and went full force with monologues. But he barely made real eye contact with me. To be sure, he appeared to be fully present, but it was a generic version of Adam Sackler. It was the hollowed-out, dead-eyed version.

One day, Gabby announced that we would be working on a scene with one partner. When Gabby called for us to break into pairs, Adam unexpectedly took my hand. He looked at me without much expression. He didn’t even ask me to be his partner. He simply pulled me aside to work on the scene.

We were supposed to role play a conflict at a bus stop. I asked Adam what he wanted to do. He shrugged at me and slid his eyes away.

“Hey,” I said and touched his arm. “Are you ok? Those people…”

He stepped away, interrupting me. “I will think of something when we go onstage.”

“Adam,” I said.

He simply looked at me, his lips tight.

“I see it,” he said. “I don’t care. I know what they think of me.”

“Not me,” I said.

He just stared at me in disbelief. “Right,” he said.

We were called to the two seats in the center of The Black Box stage.

Adam waited for me to take a seat. I waited for him to do the same. I was going to run this scene. We stared at each other.

“Actors?” Gabby asked. “What’s the hold up?”

Adam gestured to the seats. I did the same, mirroring his motion.

He looked annoyed. “Please take a seat,” he said icy and polite. His voice sounded like it was coming from a deep dark hole.

“After you,” I said, equally polite.

Neither of us moved for a couple of beats.

The audience was completely silent.

Adam took a step forward to stand above me. He was quite a bit taller than I. He looked down at me. I lifted my chin.

“Would you please take a seat, so we may begin our scene?” he asked in a menacing rumble.

I stared straight into his annoyed face. “I would appreciate it if you would sit first,” I said.

Adam’s eyebrows raised and he looked at me. He really saw me, instead of running his eyes across my face. His lips tilted upward slightly.

He crooked a finger at me and leaned down. I rose up on tiptoe. He looked around as if someone might overhear him.

In a stage whisper, he said, “Do you remember the set-up? We have to sit in those chairs. We are pretending to be at a bus stop for this scene.” He nodded and nudged my elbow toward the chairs.

“I know,” I said between gritted teeth, smiling at the audience. I gave them a little wave. “I do remember. But I want to run the scene. You should sit first.”

“Oh,” he said, still in a loud whisper. “I see. Well, that’s too bad. I want to run the scene.”

“No,” I said. “I can’t let you do that, Adam.”

“Why not?” he said loudly.

“Shhhh,” I said. He covered his mouth.

“Why not?” he whispered again, cupping his lips.

“I would like to sit on your lap in our scene,” I said softly.

He nodded slowly as if taking this information in.

“Hmmm,” he said, tapping a long finger against his mustache. “Maybe we should have worked this out ahead of time.”

“Uh, yeah, maybe,” I said interrupting him. “Maybe.”

We both looked away from one another. Adam stared at the ceiling and I shuffled my feet.

“Finish it, actors,” Gabby said slowly.

“Ok, then,” Adam said. He loped over to a seat and almost laid down in it, legs were outstretched in front of him. He looked at his watch.

“Finally,” I said to the audience. They laughed.

I walked up to Adam. He sat up and looked at me expectantly.

“Adam,” I said.

“Rey,” he replied and opened his long arms.

I plopped my bottom on his legs and leaned into him. My face was near his and he smelled like mint and warm spice. I felt his huge hand cup my bottom. I suddenly wished I hadn’t worn the little skirt I had on because I felt a rush between my legs and visualized one of those big hands sneaking between my legs. I was totally losing my mind. Adam fucking Sackler was turning me on. 

“And… scene…” Gabby shouted.

Adam tightened his hand on my thigh for a second before I stood. My body responded with a throb to my lower region.

The audience gave us a bit of applause. Gabby was delighted with the scene. She continued to hold Adam up as a role model for the rest of us. 

“Interesting choices, Adam. Unique. I love how you surprised us by standing outside the scene itself,” she gushed. Of course, I was not mentioned.

“Rey’s idea,” Adam said to Gabby.

“Uh huh,” she responded and called the next pair.

Adam and I exchanged quick glances. We took our seats and I tried not to stare at the hands that had rested on my bottom. I was thinking he could cover one cheek with one hand and still slip a finger... My panties were suddenly soaked. I shifted and crossed my legs, which managed to make the whole situation worse. I breathed and tried to concentrate on something other than those hands.

After class, the others were laughing in a corner. In a big exhale of clove-scented smoke, Stevo mimicked us. “And she actually sat on him,” he said. His girlfriend, Jennifer, giggled and said she thought I was going to kiss the insect. She made a face.

Adam stood holding his backpack, face completely frozen. With no small effort, I pulled him out of the room. He yanked his arm out of my hand. He was furious. “I’m going to fucking kill that guy,” he said. “I’m finished with him.”

“No,” I said. “No. You will get kicked out.”

He threw his backpack on and started to walk away at a furious pace.

I ran to keep up. 

“Go the fuck away,” he said.

“Why?”

“Because you hang out with them,” he said.

“Well, what of it? Who else am I supposed to hang out with?”

“Me,” he shouted. “Me. Not them. Do you want to be like them? They aren’t dedicated to anything but their own stupid egos. No, never mind. You don’t want to be seen with the insect. The weirdo.”

“I never said that,” I argued. “You run out the door every day and never talk to anyone.”

“You don’t talk to me either,” he said.

He was right. “Ok,” I said. “But you act like you don’t want anyone to bother you. You look right through me like I don’t even exist.”

“I’m working,” he said. “I’m doing my best to be an actor and have a career. This isn’t play time. If I don’t do this and do it well, there’s nothing else. I can’t live off my grandmother forever.”

He was dead serious.

“Look,” he said, “I don’t want to discuss my existence out here in the street.”

“Ok,” I said. “Want to go somewhere and talk?”

He looked at me and pressed his lips together. “Sure,” he said. He didn’t sound very convinced.

I took him home with me. I didn’t want to examine why. Maybe it had to do with the throb in my lower region. Or maybe I just wanted to take him somewhere other than the middle of the sidewalk.

Adam looked like a giant in the middle of my tiny two-room place. He put his backpack by the door and walked around looking at my make-shift bookshelf, scattering of candles, and bed with the Indian bedspread. He then folded himself into a small chair at my kitchen table.

“Hungry?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said. 

I removed eggs, cheese, veggies, and butter from the refrigerator. I was cracking the eggs into a bowl when I heard Adam walk up behind me. My hand stopped mid-air. He placed his big hands on my shoulders. I slowly put the egg down on the counter, where it promptly rolled toward the edge. Adam caught it with one big hand and rested it against the cutting board.

I turned.

He was so tall that he had to lean down to catch my mouth with his. He gently touched his soft mouth to mine. Then he looked at me.

“Is this ok?” he asked.

I swallowed. “Yes.” I looped my arms around his neck. He picked me up and placed my bottom on the counter. He moved in between my legs and my skirt rode up my thighs. I had never been so hot, never with my old boyfriend who looked like a movie star. But this guy, this tall, loud, serious guy with a long nose and fine lips was rocking my world. He was not what I expected.

He pressed his mouth full onto mine and slid his tongue deep. His hands pulled my open legs toward him, his thumbs pressed right between my legs. I moved against them with a soft cry. He slowly moved my panties aside slightly and slipped one long finger inside me. He kissed me deeply and I moaned inside his mouth. His tongue flicked against mine, showing me what he planned to do to me later. Then he slipped a second finger in and fucked me hard. I almost fell off the small counter with my head tipped back and legs open as far as I could go.

He stopped, withdrew his hand, and licked his fingers slowly. His eyes never left mine. I slipped my hands down Adam’s solid muscles. He scooped me up and carried me to my bed. We fell together, drowning in long kisses. We pulled each other’s clothes off, fast, then slow. He lingered on pulling the wet panties off my body, while watching me writhe and push his hands. I needed to get to him. Or him to get to me.

Adam obliged me in a way that suggested he was more experienced than I thought. He tugged me toward the edge of the bed and pulled my legs over his shoulders. His tongue dipped into my wettest places and circled until I cried out.

He kissed my thighs while I drifted down. Soon, I reached for him. I pushed him down and took my own time licking him. Like the rest of him, his dick was huge. He groaned with each long suck. He stroked my hair and pulled the pins out so it fell around his lap.

“Get on top,” he said softly after a while. “I want to be inside you.”

I pushed him in inch by inch and slowly rode on top of him while his thumb slid between my legs. I tipped my head back and felt the orgasm build slowly. He slowed the circles and I grabbed at his hands. He nuzzled my neck and bit me gently. Then he increased speed again. I pushed myself up and down on his hard dick trying to get to the finish. He slowed his thumb circles. I moaned his name and begged him to speed up. He did finally and I shattered around him. He rode with me, then he flipped me over onto my back and thrust himself into me as hard and fast as he could. It was heaven. He hit every spot I needed him to go. Then he came inside me and growled with satisfaction.

We lay together for a while, just looking at each other. 

“Is that what you wanted from me?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “I don’t want anything.”

“That is not true,” I said.

“Maybe not,” he said.

“I’m not with the others. The ones who act like shits. I don’t even know what their problem is.”

“Ok,” he said.

“Really.”

“Ok,” he said.

“What do you mean there’s nothing else, Adam?” I asked him. “Why is this place the end of the line for you?”

He sighed. “Don’t worry about it. I just get like that sometimes.” He reached for me again and kissed me until I forgot to ask any more questions. He pushed me back on the bed and climbed atop my body. He murmured filthy things in my ear, scenes of meeting me in class and fucking on the stage, how he had wanted to do me bent over a seat, and how he would eat my cunt from behind. Then he pulled me to a chair in the kitchen to act out his fantasy. His full lips and soft tongue covered every inch of me from behind, as I grabbed the back of the chair as I found the sweetest release. After the last long throb of my orgasm subsided, Adam sank himself into me and fucked me so hard I saw stars.

Afterwards, I fed Adam, who ate as lustily as he fucked, and he kissed me lightly. He grabbed his backpack and started to leave. He was whistling happily.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

He slung the bag over one shoulder. “Homework,” he said. “Prep for a part. Gabby wants me to play the lead in our first production.”

“Really?” I hadn’t heard a thing about a production. “What’s the play?”

“ _Man Down_. It’s that Riley play everyone’s talked about. It had a big run on Broadway last year.”

It was a heavy romance about a guy who died after finding true love. It had been incredibly popular.

“Gabby is out of her mind to start us off with something that difficult,” I said.

Adam shrugged. “She wants me to try.”

“You’re playing Manny?”

“Yep,” he said. “Gabby gave me a side. Got to go rehearse.”

“Huh,” I said. “Well, bye.”

Who was playing Jezebel, the other lead? Gabby hadn’t even announced the play or its tryouts.

She announced it next day in class. “And you will get sides when you come to try out. The main actors have been chosen already. Adam will play Manny and Jennifer has Jezebel.”

The class began talking at once. Jennifer looked like she swallowed something sour. Apparently, she didn’t know she would be opposite Adam until just that moment. She eyed him skeptically. He shook his hair out of his eyes and made no comment. He saw me watching him and gave me a nod. 

That was just great. He acted like we never happened at all, like his mouth hadn’t been on every inch of my body. I squirmed a bit at the thought, getting worked up all over again. Shit. I turned to Jordan and asked him if he would try out.

“Sure,” he said. “But it is total bullshit that Gabby gave out the big parts without telling anyone. I mean, that fucking guy.” He pointed in Adam’s general direction. “He’s not supposed to be a lead. Look at him. He’s ugly as fuck. He looks ridiculous.”

“Keep your voice down,” I said. 

Jordan snorted.

“He’s really good, though,” I continued. “He’s so committed to his process.”

“Fuck that. He’s fucking crazy. Been in the military, you know, and I think it did something to him. And now he’s here and he’s our problem. Fucking asshole.”

“Military?” I asked.

“Yeah, didn’t you know?” Jordan laughed. “The dude was kicked out for something. Probably fucking shot somebody. He seems like the type. He’s at least thirty years old. So what’s he doing here with us young-uns? Fucking grampaw.”

Adam could not have been thirty years old. He didn’t seem like an older person. However, the military training made sense to me. He was focused and disciplined. And he wanted to be an actor. Badly. I wasn’t sure why. We all wanted it, too, but Adam was more driven that the rest of us.

I looked over at Adam when Jordan started talking to Stevo. He was watching them mime something. I realized quickly that they were imitating Adam and laughing.

Adam saw me looking at him. His lips tightened and he turned away to speak with his new scene partner, Jennifer. 

Gabby paired them for reading their scripts. Adam took at step toward Jennifer and she backed up. She looked like she wanted to run.

“Jen,” Gabby said, “you need to stop moving upstage. Please remain downstage near your partner. Adam, please take Jennifer’s hand and kiss it as the scene calls for. Let’s take it from the top.”

They read their lines, but Jennifer was not concentrating well. She stumbled over the reading repeatedly. When Adam reached for her hand, again she backed up involuntarily. He grabbed her hand anyway and brought it to his lips. I knew how it would feel and tried not to make a sound. Jen squeaked and tried to cover it with a cough. She had no idea what she was missing.

“Jezebel,” Gabby said using Jennifer’s character name. “Please remember you are in love with Manny. You want him to kiss you, not just your hand but your lips as well.”

Adam tugged Jennifer close to him. She reluctantly moved toward him.

Gabby sighed. “Jen.”

“Gabby, I am so sorry. I just can’t do it with him. I just can’t. He’s…”

Gabby interrupted. “Actors are paired with all kinds of scene partners. Get over it. Do you want the part or not?”

Jennifer stood looking miserable as though she might cry.

I sneaked a glance at Adam. He stood still, staring out into space, with no expression in his eyes. Nothing. He just stood, blanking everything out.

“Jesus, Gabby, what the fuck do you want to pair him with Jennifer for?” Stevo whispered it loud enough for all to hear.

Gabby whipped around to look at Stevo. “Because I’m the director, that’s why. This is my vision. All of you, sit down.”

She paced up and down. “Adam is an actor. He is the best to come through the Academy in a while. The rest of you, I don’t know. You play at being actors and you are messing around on my time.” She waved her arm. “How can Adam do this role? Because he can. He can perform any role. It has been evident from the beginning that while you all pick and choose what you ‘prefer’ to do.” Gabby almost sneered at us. “Adam does whatever is required to handle the situations presented. So, excuse me if I cast him in any way I see fit. You are all dismissed. Jennifer, Adam, stick around.”

I drifted toward the door slowly. “Out,” Gabby said.

I turned toward Gabby instead. “Gabby, I can do it. If Jennifer can’t, I can.” I stole a quick look at Adam. He was still expressionless but at least he was looking at me. “I see his ability. He is very good and not at all ‘creepy.’”

Jennifer blushed and shuffled her feet.

Gabby stared at Jennifer. “You called Adam creepy?”

Jennifer shrugged. “Everyone says he’s….” She trailed off, red in the face.

“Not everyone,” I said. “Not me.”

Adam met my eyes. Some of the coldness disappeared.

Gabby sighed. “Jennifer, you can’t pick and choose like that. You can’t be…” Gabby touched her fingers to her head like she had a headache. Gabby turned to me. “Rey, thank you for offering. But honestly you aren’t ready for this role at all. You simply aren’t skilled enough yet to take it on.”

“I would help her,” Adam said, his deep voice sounding rusty. He stepped forward to stand next to me.

“That’s so nice, but Jennifer needs to step up and work through whatever this is,” Gabby said firmly. “Do you want to be an actor, Jennifer, or a diva?”

“An actor,” Jennifer said, eyes darting among the three of us.

“Good, then,” Gabby said. “Rey, you can go.”

“Ok,” I said and gathered up my bag.

“No,” Adam said. “I’m not working with someone who is disgusted by me.”

“Adam,” Gabby began.

“No, really. If she’s grossed out by me for whatever reason, and you won’t allow Rey to step in, then I don’t see the point of taking on this role. In my opinion, this person’s not a good enough actor to get over her feelings.” He picked up his backpack. “I’m out. Come on, Rey.” He took my hand.

I was surprised enough to resist movement. I stared at Gabby and Jennifer, caught wondering what I was supposed to do here. I needed to stay. He needed to stay. What about his career.

Adam dropped my hand. “Ok, then,” he said and took off.

“Wait,” I said. I ran after him. His legs were a lot longer than mine. “Wait!” I shouted him down.

He stopped and turned around to wait for me. When I approached, he put his hands on my shoulders. “Rey, it’s fine. If you want to hang out with those people, feel free. It’s ok.”

“No,” I said. “I really don’t.”

He laughed without any humor. “Yeah, you do. Thanks for the great time we had. I’ve got to run.” He bent and brushed his warm lips against mine briefly.

And then he was gone. 

He didn’t come back to the Actor Academy classes. I had no idea where he lived or how to even reach him. None of us did.

Stevo took the role with Jennifer. I took a minor role and hated every minute of it.

Where was Adam Sackler? Well, he disappeared off the radar entirely…until…

Years later, I found myself at the premier Oscar party, watching Adam Sackler from afar. He was dressed in a tuxedo, looking perfectly content with his award for best actor in his latest project, _The Oberlon File_. An elegant older woman who looked a lot like him was on his arm—perhaps his mother or, no, it was his grandmother. He had said he couldn’t live off her forever. He grinned down at her obvious delight with the party and its attendants. Cameras popped everywhere and women giggled over this tall beautiful man. His movies were the buzz of Hollywood. He still wasn’t leading man material according to the Internet. But something about him—the tawny brown eyes, thick black hair, full lips—was so appealing. He had aged so very beautifully and lit up the room with his wide smile.

It was ok that he didn’t recognize me. My hair was swept up. I was polished and poised in a red Vera Wang gown. I would not have recognized myself.

I sipped a flute of champagne that tasted a lot like regret. I wished I had followed him that day he left. I wished I had tried harder. But I was too young to recognize the worth of this talented and unique individual. My little group of so-called friends and I were too scared to see beyond what we believed to be true. So be it.

Looking back, the truth was that he probably was as disgusted with us as we were with him. He found Actor Academy students to be lazy, unmotivated, and rather stupid. He may have been hurt at first, but he worked his way into a disdain for the shallowness and pretension shown by this handful of nothings. And who had the career? He did. And so did I, though not in acting but producing. My Oscar already had its place in my den. It wore a hat from the film that won it.

I left the crush to wander out to the terrace. I stood on the flagstones to look at the moon. Then I heard the door open behind me.

“Rey,” Adam said, coming up next to me.

“Adam,” I said, turning to look at him. I was sure he hadn’t seen or recognized me. But apparently, I was wrong. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” he said. “Been a long time.”

“Yes. I wasn’t sure you remembered me.”

He stuck his hands in his pockets. “Sure, of course. I always remembered you.”

“Well, I imagine you might want to forget that time.” I smiled at him.

He smiled back. “Yeah, not my best moment.”

“You seem to have gotten over it quite well,” I said. “Nothing like an Oscar to feel like you’ve arrived.”

“You would know,” he said.

“I suppose that’s true,” I agreed. “I hate to tell you this, but it doesn’t work that way. I don’t feel like anything has changed.”

He laughed. “Still that moment of terror when you start something new and think, well, now I actually have to make it work.”

“So, so true. Awards don’t mean shit when faced with the new thing that could fail and make you look like a damn fool.”

“You could have waited until tomorrow to tell me that,” he said. “Now that’s all I’m going to think about.”

“So sorry,” I said with a small giggle.

Adam’s grandmother burst through the doorway. “I’ve just met Harrison Ford,” she said. “He is most delightful.”

“Grandma, he is also married,” Adam said.

“Well, I know that,” she replied. “I don’t want to run off with the man. Your Papa would up and die without me.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “Grandma, this is Rey Jakku,” he said.

“Ms. Sackler, so nice to meet you,” I said. “Are you enjoying this Hollywood party? The Oscars are something else.”

She laughed. “Oh, I am. I am so proud of Adam. He has worked hard to get here.”

“That he has,” I agreed. “You should be proud of him.”

“Grandma, I think I see Matt Damon in there. I will be along in a minute. I’ve got some business with Rey.”

“Matt Damon is much too young for me,” she said. But she left.

I watched the play of emotions on Adam’s face. He was happy to share this moment with his family, I could tell.

“My grandfather said he was tired and went back to the hotel. But I think he was just giving my grandma some room to enjoy herself,” he said. 

“How sweet,” I said.

“Hey,” he said suddenly. “There’s a lot going on here tonight. Paparazzi and grannies and well-wishers. I would like to talk to you. I have some things I need to say.”

I looked into his eyes. He was completely serious. “You don’t have to say a thing,” I said softly. “Not necessary.”

He tipped his head. “It is for me. May I call you? I’d like to meet and clear the air.”

I agreed and gave him my direct cell number. He messed around with his phone, poking at the screen.

“Shit,” he said. “This thing.”

“New phone?”

“Yeah, can’t fucking work it.” He slid his long fingers over the screen. “Fuck. What did I do?” The phone was too small for his big hands.

“Give,” I said, holding out my hand. I snapped my fingers. “Fork it over.”

He chucked it at me lightly. “Fuck it.”

I swiped around and detangled his issue. I added my number into his contacts. “It’s under R for Rey.” I added a picture of me from my business page. “Ok, now there’s a photo, so you know who I am.”

He stared at me incredulously. “As if I don’t know who you are. Rey, I know what you look like naked. I’ve had my face between your legs.”

“Adam,” I hissed, blushing. “Shhhh. Are you crazy?”

“No more than usual.” He took his phone back. “Thanks. I’ll give you a call.” In his most Adam-like way, he stopped talking and walked back through the door without a glance at me. I had forgotten that the man ended conversations by simply walking away. 

Two days later, I had given up on him. I stopped waiting for his call. Clearly, Adam Sackler didn’t want to speak to me that badly. 

Then I got the first text.

_Fck me cant figure ths fuking thing out._

I texted back. _Who is this?_

 _Sry. Adam. Phone suks. Meet me at Jlooo at 8_.

I laughed out loud. _What is Jlooo?_

_GRRRR Julios fuck gghis phn_

_Ok_ , I texted back. Lots of smiling and laughing emojis followed.

He sent back the same, with a few poop emojis thrown in.

I met him at Julio’s bar, a dive that the rich and famous frequented because it offered anonymity—usually. We arrived at the same time. I squeezed my car into the side lot by the bar. Adam emerged from a dark SUV wearing sunglasses and a hoodie up over his long dark hair. He was so tall and distinctive, though, the paparazzi saw him immediately.

They all shouted his name at once. He saw me and motioned me into the bar.

A tall man walked in behind us. “Mr. Sackler, we are drawing a crowd. I recommend we leave and find a less visible venue.”

“Ok,” he said. “Come with me.” He took my hand and led me out again. The photographers were snapping pictures. People started pushing. The bodyguard shoved us into the SUV.

“My car,” I said as we drove off.

“Ms. Jakku’s car is in the lot,” Adam said to his security team.

“Yes, sir,” the bodyguard said from the front seat.

Adam said to me, “If you give Steve your keys, he will retrieve your car after we are dropped off.”

“Where to, Mr. Sackler?”

“My house,” I said. “It’s a gated community. No paparazzi are allowed in.” I gave them my address and handed over my car keys.

We stopped at the gate and were waved through by the guard. My house sat on the end of the street behind yet another gate. My security personnel opened the gate to allow the SUV to enter.

As we stepped out of the car, I told my team to allow the SUV and the gentleman driving my car to return to the house—and to inform the outside gate of the same.

Adam looked around at my Southern California adobe home with its tile floors and open space. “Quite a bit different than your tiny apartment,” he said. “Producing must be good business.”

“It is,” I said. “Better for me than acting. I wasn’t much on that.”

We wandered into my kitchen. “May I offer you something to drink?”

“Sure,” he said. “I’ll be a Californian and ask for sparkling water and lemon.”

“Coming right up,” I said, pouring two of them.

We wandered into my living space with its ocean view. I curled up on my big white couch.

Adam dropped into the couch with a sigh. “Sorry we couldn’t go out,” Adam said. “That shit has been happening more and more, and I keep forgetting I’m not a free man.”

“No problem,” I said. “I’m a homebody anyway. I love it here.”

“I sure can see why,” he said. He cleared his throat and scooted closer to me. But he didn’t speak. He looked rather unsure of where to begin.

“So, talk, Adam. You have a lot to say to clear the air.”

“Yeah,” he said and set his drink down. “I don’t know how to start.”

“You know, there’s not a lot to say on my end. I have no bad feelings toward you. It was one of those things. We had some fun…” I stopped. It hadn’t been fun. Not one thing about that time was fun. He probably knew it just as much as I did.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t call it…”

“No, I am,” he said quickly, cutting me off.

I stared at him.

“I am sorry for what happened back then. I didn’t handle that situation well,” he said, twisting his fingers together. Those big hands. I remembered and swallowed. Get a grip.

I set my glass down as well and leaned back. “No one did. I was embarrassed and uncomfortable. I acted badly. But I wasn’t apologizing for my behavior just then.” I chuckled a little. “I should, though, because I was an awful person to you.”

He raised his brows at me. “What were you apologizing for, then?”

“Saying it was fun. It wasn’t.”

He was stunned. “What? Not at all?”

“Not a whole lot, no.”

“Oh,” he said. “Now I’m sorry. I thought…I remember…” He stopped.

It dawned on me that he was talking about sex. “No, Adam, not the sex. I meant the rest of it.”

He looked at me sideways. “I am not following this conversation at all. What rest of it?”

“Those people in our class were so horrible to you. I stood by and watched them pick on you. That was not fun. I didn’t like them. I didn’t enjoy hanging out with them. I wish I hadn’t chosen them instead of you.”

“So, um, the sex was fun,” he said.

I stared at him. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Absolutely. You didn’t have fun because you chose to socialize with them instead of me. I get that. I’m just asking about the sex.”

“Why?” I couldn’t believe we were talking about this.

“Because I was damn sure you liked fucking me. 100 percent sure. I didn’t think I was mistaken and if I was, well, then, I have to rethink my entire existence.”

I stared at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

He shook his head. “I handled the whole thing with you so badly.”

“With me?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I should have come back for you.”

I touched his arm lightly. “No, you were right. I had chosen to listen to them. I mean, I defended you behind your back but not in any meaningful way. I was afraid. I wanted to be accepted by the alpha wolf pack group.”

He rolled his eyes. “Alpha wolf pack group? They were buffoons.” He looked me dead in the eye and leaned forward, big hands resting on his knees. “Who’s alpha now?” he asked.

“You are,” I said, softly. The others were long gone as far as I knew. Adam was at the top of his game.

We looked at each other. I realized something important at that very moment. Then he said it and I knew it was true.

“Who was alpha then?” he asked, eyes never leaving mine.

I watched him carefully. “You were.”

“Always,” he said. “And I should have come for you and protected you. I am sorry I did not do so.”

“It’s ok. I learned some important lessons at the Academy. Most had little to do with being an actor.”

“Hmmm,” he said. “So did I.”

Adam sat in silence within himself. I waited, fascinated with watching how his brain worked. He was processing something long and hard. His beautiful lips twitched slightly, and my mouth went dry. He stroked his mustache with one of those large hands, then raised it to push his hair back.

He suddenly shifted his gaze back to me. I tried to pretend I hadn’t been staring at him with lust. I had no idea why he did this to me.

He sighed and said, “Back then, I felt that everything was life or death. I was fully focused on work—that is, the work of learning to act. I didn’t feel like I had time for anything else.”

I understood. “The rest of us appeared to be playing, like Gabby said. We were just hanging out like college kids do.”

He nodded. “I was not a college kid.”

“You were grown?”

He nodded. “Sort of. In my own opinion, yes. I was a little older than the average student actor there.”

“I was twenty-two, right out of undergraduate school. I thought we all were. Of course, Jordan thought you were thirty. He called you a grandpa.”

Adam raised his brows. “Wow. No, I was only twenty-five then and thought I was hot shit. I was disciplined and single-minded in my goal. I sought out hard work and relished challenges. I craved challenges.”

I had snooped him online and knew he had been a former Marine. He was discharged honorably after a car accident left him with broken bones. It was evident in some of his films when he walked. He was slightly bow-legged in one leg. I hadn’t noticed back when we were together.

“Because of your discharge from the military?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said simply. “That was also why I left. It wasn’t challenging for me.” He paused. “I was also convinced that if I bombed out of acting, I would have to live on the streets. I owed my grandmother for supporting me. My family did not want me to become an actor, but she believed in me. That’s why I had to be completely focused and on my game. I figured I didn’t have time for anyone or anything other than this career.”

“You made it work,” I said. “I’m impressed.”

“Thank you, Rey,” he said. “It comes at a price, though.”

I took a deep breath. Adam watched me with a small smile forming on his perfect lips. I opened and then closed my mouth.

“Yes,” he said, his voice deep and rich, like a drip of chocolate.

I closed my eyes. “I can’t stop thinking of you,” I said. “Even after these years have passed. I think of you.”

I felt his large hand take mine. “Hey,” he said. His fingers twined with mine. Behind shuttered lashes, I watched his thumb rub against mine gently. “Such tiny hands,” he said. “I think of you every day, my sweet Rey. Meeting you was an incredible gift that I squandered.”

Then he gave me a little tug. I looked up to see him full-on smiling at me with such happiness in his eyes. He opened his arms. I needed no further encouragement to throw myself on him with a cry of delight. I loved this crazy guy. Always did and always would. I wanted to believe he felt the same. Later that day, it was confirmed.

Our lips met hungrily. His tongue was still warm and wet. His hands still covered my bottom so nicely. 

“Adam Sackler,” I said between kisses. “I’m loving your hands. Put your hands on me, baby.”

And so he did. My gorgeous, strange beast of a man. 


End file.
